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RAM Enters Witness Protection
LILMEME00414: RAM Enters Witness Protection RAM is your computer's temporary workbench: it holds data that running programs need. Available RAM is space ready for more work, not e...
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LILMEME00414: RAM Enters Witness Protection
RAM is your computer's temporary workbench: it holds data that running programs need. Available RAM is space ready for more work, not evidence of a crime.
Nevertheless, Lil'meme is fitting his memory sticks with tiny disguises.
According to TechRadar's Darren Allan on 9 November 2026, developer Iain Kay created Ram Altman, an open-source Linux script that emails a report of total, used and available RAM to an address you supply. It does not automatically email Sam Altman, and its creator explicitly discourages spam.
The joke answers Altman's remark that it was "quite terrible" for everybody to have some of the world's limited DRAM supply sitting in their computers. He subsequently walked it back, said he wanted people to have plenty of RAM, and argued that his comments were taken out of context.
The script sends at most 1 email daily, rotating 10 messages, 8 subject lines and 6 sign-offs. Below 10% free RAM, it sends nothing.
Apparently even automated sarcasm recognises an exhausted employee.
The useful distinction: this reports memory use; it does not move your memory into an AI data centre. You can read the jokes at https://ram-altman.lol without installing anything.
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The absurd
Why this is ridiculous
The Altman joke sends your memory report to someone else.
The breakdown
How it breaks down
RAM holds working data; this script reports unused space.
The upside
Why it could matter
You can read the jokes online without installing the script.
Sources
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